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Focus, Responsibility, Direction, Security, Maturity
I’ve got a big section of BRAT winding down, a very challenging section to write, keeps trying to forcibly remove my butt from the chair. But I’ve been relentless in turn, hammering hours away on it even if my reward for the day is nothing more than a lonely half-decent paragraph, a glimpse of tiny light at the end of a long dark tunnel of doubt. I doubt too much. It fucks up my writing. I doubt and worry over that sentence I just wrote, the one about the tunnel, worrying about it sounding too cliche. It does sound cliche. Maybe doubt is good. No, I just read it again. I read the whole paragraph this time, and the sentence doesn’t read that badly when you read the whole paragraph. I doubt too much.
I concluded, with much reluctance, that it would probably do me well to take small doses of a certain medicinal plant in an effort to improve my overall mental health. I say reluctant, because, historically, smoking this plant just makes me freak out hard core. Because of said freak-out risk, I’m careful to only do it while alone, sans peer pressure of any kind, free to toke in laughably small quantities. I’m still freaking out, but they’re non-debilitating, solitary, low-intensity freakouts, highly manageable, the bud-light of freak outs if you’re keen on puns. The positives seem to be showing up. The whole thing’s been quite an adventure, actually, a good choice overall I think. More on this subject later. I’m documenting my experiences.
So yeah, BRAT, gave it one hell of a push last week, and I’m back at it again, relentless again, ready to put it to bed by week’s end. As soon as that’s done, I’m taking three to five days and devoting them to a bit of long-term planning (professional, financial) 3-months, 6-months, 1-year, that kind of stuff. At which point I’m hoping to have a better sense of, among other things, what I want this blog to be about.
On a minor and lighter note, I’m thinking it might be fun to regularly update the sub-header (Expatriate of India, Writer…)
Three ideas I like for future sub-headers:
Bryan Basamanowicz, Letters of a High-Functioning Paranoiac
Bryan Basamanowicz, Transmissions of Distress from the Ivory Tower
Bryan Basamanowicz, Unpublished Writer, Rejected 13 Times, Already Whining Like a Baby
=) any other ideas? let me know
