Marijuana Paranoia Management Coach, Bryan Basamanowicz, recounts his latest intense ” weed trip” and reviews an interesting journal entry from another paranoid stoner.
3 Entries From Corey’s Diary:
5/30/13 I feel like this has all happened before. Today I woke up and spent most of the day researching psychedelics. Something I feel like I did before in the exact same way. Ended up going down for dinner and one of the few words my dad mentions is mushrooms. Then back to my room. Needed to drive Josh home talked about Texas life. He mentioned memory lane. I feel he was pointing at the déjà vu of the situation which I felt deeply. Earlier in the weekend I spent all day researching how to cook things and the first thing I see on the kitchen table is a picture of a chef. It’s like someone (dad) knows what my every move is, and there is meaning behind them knowing that I am supposed to accept or understand. I feel the fact that I am writing this will ruin any sort of chance I have of understanding all this. Something now will change their game plan to keep me in the dark. Did Shroomry forum research on philosophy/paranoia/schizophrenia/psychedelic exp. While listening to David Lynch’s Rabbits. I feel like I am being monitored by some supreme organization or being. That my family knows about and complies to or is obligated by law to have me monitored. The monitoring is to check my state of being and to make sure my family is providing adequate care. The goal is for them to keep up an image so they can receive compensations. Josh’s last words were, take care of the family. For me to behave and maintain their image would be me taking care of them. Where me showing misbehavior would not be taking care of the family. I’m guessing this experience leading to this realization was premeditated by my family. Josh was appointed to give me a clue that my family is not legally allowed to inform me of, for the benefit of my wellbeing either going against the family’s game plan or working with them to remind me to protect the family’s image. All this leads to me writing this which was already premeditated by the family. How can this impact things? All in all Calvin needed me to drive him home because he was too drunk to drive but the second Josh got in the car he drove off to another place. He just got home again an hour later and now is leaving once more. An urgent agenda with the supreme to clear things up for the car ride opportunity? To cover something up so I can maintain my existence? Gain profit off the extra monitoring? The sun is up showing how off schedule things are. Was this all planed for my good or not. Is this experience I’m having now their goal to cut me a break. It’s like a stock market, these words being projected on the big screen in real time at this very moment with many watching on the other side monitoring, betting, predicting, and altering my every thought for some reason I don’t know. Have trouble focusing now means I’m getting to close. I’m starting to feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t have written this before. If I believe I have written this exact thing before is me losing my grasp on reality. I wish to be more capable of processing though all this.
5/30/13 Film, Cube, first ten minutes analysis: allegory- harm of the mind actualizing the brain/body. Dialogue (hint) – “holy (wholly) cats” instead of holy cow. Both three letters, starting with C, and animals. Look past labels/ surface differences, because all characters are different “parts” (hero, healer, thinker etc.) of the mind. The “whole” alone man at the beginning was the end result of the realization, showing that even when actualized and at “full” potential death awaits. Whole man gets cut into pieces showing one should never piece together to come to a greater whole. The act of piecing together kills the individual ideas (characters). The answer is for them not to talk? Not have the mind realize? Individual ideas cannot die but once the ideas realize they are a part of a greater living “whole” death is possible. Cats vs. cow, which one fits the idiom best? When following both work. But when aside from the idiom they are completely different and not seen as working/better/alive vs. not working/worse/dead, they just are. 7/25/13 • Is it sane for dreams that have or have not recently happened to arbitrarily appear in waking consciousness? Does that imply a release of more DMT in the system? Within this anomaly am I technically in-between both worlds, or bringing one into the other? Can I create a portal? (Think of a dream in a space, have someone walk into that space and see your dream world) • How does paranoia feel and does it tell you it’s not what it is or is stating? • Why do you mention that I’m seeming better than I was previously? If you suggest me moving away from relying on outside sources for my worth? Also if I’m supposed stop bringing up the past?
7/27/13 Avid reading over the course of a lifetime may reduce the rate of memory decline by 32%.-After reading this Facebook post I had a paranoia surge. I thought that Facebook was created for me to have a healthy dose of reading in my life. Because in my normal challenged (autistic/mentally retarded) state I would never pick up a book or read a newspaper, etc. My dream motif last night was reading a novel in a class ritual, and having Wheezy Waiter help me with my reading assignment for class during an adventure in a van. The book that was mentioned in my dream was mockingbird. I woke up and researched books with that title and came across To Kill a Mockingbird, and Mockingbird. I’m familiar with the first but the latter was about a young girl with Asperger’s, all in all which solidified this journal entry. So do paranoia surges correlate, and or are predetermined, by previous night’s dreams?
Vancouver’s Marijuana Paranoia Management Coaching (MPMC) responds to an email from a Crohn’s sufferer dealing with depression and anxiety:
This is what I’m struggling with. I have a very severe case of Crohn’s Disease that hasn’t responded to the usual treatments. Marijuana has helped with my Crohn’s better than the steriods and opiates did, by a long shot. The problem is, when I’m not high, I hate life. I have nonstop depression, anxiety, panic, depersonalization, and derealization. Horrible depression and anxiety run in my family, and I ended up with both. I started using marijuana, daily, 7 months ago, and I smoke about half a gram a day.
Here are my questions:
Is this unreal feeling permanent, or will it go away after I discontinue the marijuana?
Marijuana is the, overall, best medication when it comes to my Crohn’s disease. I was bordering the line of opiate addiction before I started using marijuana, and I desperately don’t want to go back to that. Will all cannabis products make me feel this way? Is it possible to get a heavier Indica strain that is good for my anxiety, depression, and Crohn’s?
What are the chances that I will develop a mental disorder, such as schizophrenia, now?
I’ve had Indica strains that I felt somewhat normal smoking, but haven’t been able to get any, for various reasons. Will these strains eventually lead me down the same path of emotional disorders?
In the latest video from Vancouver’s MPMC Service (Marijuana Paranoia Management Coaching), Bryan Basamanowicz talks about the only true “cure” for cannabis-induced paranoid episodes. Check it out!
video from: MPMC
This is an experiment using the South African plant Sceletium to moderate paranoia and anxiety from cannabis:
If you’re not familiar with my “schedule,” I medicate on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I’ve been doing this for about a year.
The most significant philosophical “Theme” from my last two medication sessions has been the relationship between fear and love.
Allow me to illustrate:
My “intention” last night was to finish my video and go to McDonalds to get one of their $1 iced coffee smoothies. If you’re familiar with my work, then you know I believe it’s important to set intentions before medicating. For more information on Intention Setting, check out my book, Handbook for the High-Functioning Paranoiac.
From the moment I truly realized I was high, I had the feeling of being far, far removed from my normal conscious mind. I was somewhere in outer space. It was a bit scary, a bit cool. Perhaps even exceedingly scary and exceedingly cool. Not knowing exactly what to do with myself, I decide I’d go to McDonalds in accordance with my pre-conceived Intention.
My room is on the fifth floor of my building, so I usually take the elevator down to the lobby. I’ve had a strange experience inside this elevator; it’s happened twice now. And I had it again last night. While watching the floor numbers change on the elevator’s digital display, 5, 4, 3, 2, I perceived a small delay on floor number two. It was taking too long for the elevator to go from floor 2 to the lobby floor, yet the elevator kept moving! With my perception of time slowed, what was in fact a small delay created a small wave of panic, as I contemplated and fleshed out a rather elaborate dystopic fantasy of being trapped in an elevator that is at once moving, yet perpetually stuck between floors, never to arrive at its promised destination, and thus confining me eternally inside that lonely square cube. I felt it, vividly, that possibility. This is Paranoia.
Such waves of irrational panic and fantasy, thanks to the temporal distortions of cannabis, are permitted to flower and terrify. However, the end-results are often none other than profound “counter-waves” of gratitude. When the elevator does indeed reach the lobby floor and the doors open up, I’m again free to experience a wide-open and free world where anything’s possible. Liberated from my bondage, my first thought is a genuine love and reverence for the human engineers and mechanics for having devoted their energies to making sure that my experience on this elevator was a safe (and temporary) one.
Are there not many metaphors here? Whom do I thank and love for this plant, this natural technology to which I submit my trust and yield my control on the premise that its influence on me is always temporary. Where do I lay my gratitude for the utility, thrill, and mercy of this natural “elevator”?
I leave the building, walk to McDonalds and make this video:
The science tends to align with my speculation. Certain individuals, due to general tolerance, as well as some anomaly in the brain’s dopamine processing hardware, experience an unusual, more severe intoxication from cannabis, whereby the classic symptoms of intoxication—memory impairment, executive functioning, slowing of time—are even more pronounced. The paranoiac’s path to euphoria and general feelings of well-being and happiness is separated from him by barriers of anxiety/paranoia that, when (if) dispelled, lead to those feelings of lightness and elation that are thought to be abundant in the “normal” high. I speculate that this fear-augmentation-and-discharge dynamic is present in most all individuals who use cannabis, but due to tolerance and genetic predisposition, the majority of cannabis users do not experience the dynamic at any conscious level. Cannabis Paranoiacs it seems are plunged deeper into the subconscious mind than others. Nonetheless, the If we permit ourselves a “good trip,” we will resurface with that same natural reverence for the experience and a wish to repeat it; it’s a “craving” quite similar perhaps to what’s experienced by your typical happy-go-lucky stoner.
This inner-exercise of fear confrontation (conscious in paranoiacs, unconscious in most other cannabis users) may be why cannabis users are prone to laughter. I remember reading my first major extracurricular philosophical text in high school called “The Mind’s Sky,” by Timothy Ferris.
According to Ferris, the mechanics of human laughter are based in the dispelling of irrational fear. In Ferris’ example, a hiker sees a stick that looks like a snake. For a moment (perhaps a very short moment or perhaps a rather long one), he “gets paranoid,” thinking the stick is a snake and that it may do him harm. When he recognizes the stick as nothing but a harmless stick, it causes him to emit some sort of spontaneous vocal bark that we know as laughter. Ferris argues that some version of this dynamic is always present, either consciously or subconsciously, when we laugh.
So it follows that what stoner culture knows as “The Fear”— this phenomenon that for many ruins their ability to enjoy this unique psychedelic, ridiculously safe and mind-expanding plant— may play an integral, if often abstracted (hidden), role in many facets of what we understand as the traditional “high.”
If you’d like more information about my practice as a professional Marijuana Paranoia Management Coach, I would recommend checking out my book here.
Conclusions: Sceletium elevated my mood and “brightened” the early stages of my high, but after I crossed a certain dosage threshold, the effects of the potent sativa overwhelmed the experience and the effect of the Sceletium was rendered mostly unnoticeable.
Thanks for reading!
Marijuana Paranoia Management Coach, Bryan Basamanowicz, answers an email from a conscientious former stoner whose recent weed-induced panic attack has him worried.
Read full text of the email below video:
I am 37 yrs old. Been smoking regularly for about 10 years. Once I
started working from home about 18 months ago, I started using
more regularly. I would smoke every day. Maybe 4 times a day. I
had a good tolerance to getting high. Never had a problem.
Always made me feel great. I have a bad back, arthritis from
playing sports and marijuana has helped out tremendously with
this. I started to gain weight last year due to being inactive
because I was working from home. I got up to 250 lbs. I quit
working out on a regular basis. Usually when active I was around
So I got some new stuff the first week in March. The smell was
really strong. Really strong. I use mason jars and I could even
smell it outside of the jar. I tried it, and after only two
tokes from my volcano vape bag, I knew I was good. It stayed
with me for the remainder of the night. I went out with a friend
to a comedy club and had a great time. When I got back before I
went to sleep, I decided to have a few more drags off a bag
before I laid down to watch TV. My heart took off. Racing like
crazy. Probably got up to around 120 bpm. I have had this happen
before but this time it was way different. I freaked out for a
second.I called a friend and they came and sat with me. I do
Yoga so I just took some deep breaths. I also took an aspirin.
After an hour, I was sleeping pretty well. My heart was up but I
A few days later I had a volcano sesh off of that batch. I had
nothing to eat since lunch. My heart started racing like crazy.
I got really sketchy all over. I laid down in the kitchen floor
and a tingling sensation started to rise all over my body. A
super bad trip. My mom got so worried that she called the
paramedics. They came in and did a full EKG. My pulse was up at
100. My EKG was normal. Blood pressure was okay. Blood sugar was
way low. I told them nothing about the weed. They suggested that
I eat something. I went back to the barbeque. Had a meal. Went
to lay down and the same thing started happening again. Heart
beating really fast. Tingling. I went to the emergency room to
be safe. Told them nothing about the weed. They ran all the
tests. I came back the same as in the paramedic truck. The
doctor at the emergency room said that it was a panic attack.
Gave me a prescription for xanax and sent me on my way. I didn’t
take one at the hospital because I have heard bad things about
I decided to go home sleep it off and call my regular doc. I saw
my regular doctor days later. When I weighed at the doctors
office I was 214. So I had lost about 35 pounds in three months
to my surprise. My regular doc agreed that it was panic attack
and gave me a lesser dose prescription and recommended me to a
cardiologist. My cardio doctor gave me all the same tests. My
heart rate was still up around 100. My EKG was normal but this
time my blood pressure was slightly higher. I was also having
some heart palpitations from the stress of all of this. He did
full bloodwork. All normal. He did an echo of my heart. All
normal. I wore a heart monitor for a month. He said that I
needed to eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, etc. and quit
stressing. Take a half a milligram of xanax when I needed to but
that I was fine.
I went to the doctor to get checked out since then. They say its
just anxiety but they are of no help really. I have been taking
Vitamin D, Magnesium, and Omega 3 supplements and I’ve been
feeling extremely better. I have been working out regularly even
running and getting my pulse up to 165 with no problems. My
resting rate is around 75 so I am getting in pretty good shape.
I used to be pretty active when I started. Not sure if that is
the reason the rapid heart rate never bothered me.
My question is I want to be able to enjoy cannabis again. My
batteries are recharged. It was beneficial to my bad back, joint
pain, etc. I am just not sure what I should do to approach it
after a 12 month break. Plus, I have no idea if I will have the
same kind of bad trip again. Just need some advice.
There remains a great deal of mystery surrounding both the origins and the tenacity of “420″ as the universal stoner rallying cry. In the latest video from MPMC, Marijuana Paranoia Management Coach, Bryan Basamanowicz, presents a new theory on the cultural significance of 420 that may be as equally disturbing as it is compelling. What do you think?
image from: sptimes.com
Certain cannabis users have been known to experience a perceived acceleration of heart-rate when they get high. This can be explained physiologically (see the video), and knowing what’s actually happening in the body may also reduce the impulse to panic. In the latest video from Vancouver’s Marijuana Paranoia Management Coaching (MPMC), Bryan Basamanowicz addresses an email from a cannabis user concerned about his cannabis-accelerated heart rate. Check it out:
When the show you’re watching on television seems custom built to reflect your life, and the walls of reality start to feel paper thin, that’s when you know it was really good weed!
Check out the latest installment of MPMC’s Paranoid Marijuana Video Diary series.